The unofficial rules of life

The Ones Nobody Tells You

If you want something you are not going to be able to find it.

If you do find it, you can guarantee you will find other stuff you previously couldn’t find, & what you wanted to find will be the very last thing you find.

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Mathematical Failing Magician

Yesterday I had 3 things which I needed to do.

I needed to make 3 phone calls in order to sort them all out.

6 phone calls later, 0 things sorted out, now waiting for 3 people to ring me back.  I was supposed to get one of those calls yesterday, so what odds are we putting on me having to repeat yesterday today? 

I think it’s a good job I turned down the job as a magicians assistant.  They head hunted me, they wanted me to be the assistant who stands in front of the board while having knives thrown round you.  I had to politely turn the offer down.  It was far too cutting edge for me.

Shed Dilemma 

One of my options – just need to ‘acquire’ some police tape

Unfortunately I had cause today to go in my shed.

I have never seen so many spider eggs in one place – really, really glad that I didn’t encounter the spider which left them all there, as I shudder thinking about how big it must be.

My Shed Is Truly Terrifying

I think I would less worried if I heard the psycho music from the Psycho film, whilst hearing the word ‘Norman’ in an odd, old lady man voice.

So now I am in a real dilemma;

  • Nuke the shed
  • Move
  • Lock it, fill every gap with foam filler, including the key hole. Cover it in police tape & pretend an awful crime was committed in there, & tell everyone it can never be opened, ever again.

Has anyone who has not purchased their shed in the last few days, got a shed which is nice & clean like this?