Yesterday I had 3 things which I needed to do.
I needed to make 3 phone calls in order to sort them all out.
6 phone calls later, 0 things sorted out, now waiting for 3 people to ring me back. I was supposed to get one of those calls yesterday, so what odds are we putting on me having to repeat yesterday today?
I think it’s a good job I turned down the job as a magicians assistant. They head hunted me, they wanted me to be the assistant who stands in front of the board while having knives thrown round you. I had to politely turn the offer down. It was far too cutting edge for me.
I am too old.
I am too young.
The band I like are too old.
The band I like are too young.
The band I like have not changed their musical style in 30 years.
The band I like have partly changed their musical style.
The band I like have totally changed their musical style.
I am a scene kid*
I am an emo**
I am female***
I am an elitist when it comes to music****
I am not elitist when it comes to music*****
The band I like are not Metal, they’re rock/pussy rock/indie/punk/5 Finger Death Punch, (delete as appropriate)*****
I am on the internet, ergo not entitled to an opinion of any kind.
I don’t know which sub sub sub genre of Heavy metal a band (1) ‘should’ be categorized as******
*At just under the age of 40 I’m never entirely sure whether I find this a compliment or not. I realise it’s supposed to be a disparaging comment, however, being thought of, & called a kid at my age – I can’t help but derive pleasure from such comments.
**I absolutely hate this term.
For those who throw it around – especially when used in a game of internet word war between two factions of Metal fans, please stop for a second to consider the following information:
The term Emo when referring to a specific type of metal, or the fans of this genre was invented by mainstream media. It was yet another tactic to try & scare parents against allowing their offspring to listen to the spawn of Satan himself!
I am sorry, but let’s please remember any music which is not performed by a person who is: an ex-children’s TV presenter/someone who is aesthetically pleasing to the eye of the majority/someone who can’t hold a note, but can mime etc. Is not music we should be letting innocent ears listen to (3)
Throughout my life there have been attempts like this made over & over.
Did you know, for example;
That the band name AC/DC, does not actually mean alternating current/direct current in the same way the term is used when making reference to electricity. The band absolutely did not pick a name with any correlation to electricity because they use electric guitars. Oh no my friends, it actually stands for anti christ/death to christ!
If you play the LP version of Black Sabbaths Black Sabbath album backwards, it reveals hidden satanic messages! And in the song paranoid Ozzy does not sing “I tell you to enjoy life, I wish I could but it’s too late“, no, no, no! The actual lyrics are “I tell you to end your life…..“
Listening to Heavy Metal automatically means you are a heathen. It means you have no manners, don’t work, are violent, & stupid.
In calling someone an Emo (awaiting all the trolls calling me an Emo…..!), you are helping to promote a very negative connotation about the general genre of Heavy Metal.
The term is also ridiculous because absolutely all music is ’emo’. Why? Because all music is emotional & creates emotions in the listener. Whether that be hate, love, indifference, or any feeling, it is still an emotion evoked by the piece of music. All humans feel emotion – unless you are a psychopath. Emotions are not a unique feature to only those who listen to such music.
The bands, music & fans were nicknamed ‘emo‘ by mainstream media, because of a purporpedly increased link to those particular fans self harming, being depressed, & even feeling suicidal.
That is ridiculous, one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard in my life!
First of all, listening to one specific form of music doesn’t make automatically mean that person is suffering from any form of mental health problem. They may just like that music.
The link is maybe mistakenly made by some, because often the artists themselves have suffered from mental health problems of some form or another, & as such use their art to ‘talk about’ their experiences.
Possibly this makes a person who is going through such struggles more likely to end up finding that music helpful. This is not a reason to fear that kind of music! In fact, several studies prove that listening to such music & lyrics can be very helpful for those who may be suffering in silence with their mental health problems. It is a form of therapy, cathartic, & helps that person to not feel so alone.
Secondly, there are plenty of people who listen to other genres of music who are experiencing the same things.
Music is a tool which is used in mental health recovery as a form of distraction from overwhelming thoughts & feelings, or symptoms such as hearing voices. It is proven music can help lower blood pressure & lowers stress hormones within the human body. So whatever the person’s personal taste in music, they can & do find it helpful.
The number of people in psychiatric wards who actually listen to music dubbed ’emo’, compared to the number listening to popular music, are extremely few & far between – so you could argue that the fans classed as ’emo’, actually do benefit from listening to that music much more than other types of music.
*** This attitude has lessened now, but there are still a minority who believe females can’t actually love the music, it’s just that they fancy band members. Some of the opinions are even worse than that!
Well yes, I undoubtedly do fancy some of the artists from the bands I love, I am a human, with human urges. I also think there are some hot people in TV programmes, & in the general public – people I pass in the street.
My affections for those in bands actually tends to go far beyond sexual attraction. I always hear the music first, if I really connect with the music, either lyrically or musically (mostly both!), then I will have a root around cyber-space for information on the artist. Sometimes those people are pleasing to my eyes. When I get really ‘fan-girly’ however, it is because not only do I connect to the music, but I also connect with the person as a whole.
There are some artists out there who are not just amazing when it comes to music & lyrics, but are talented in many different ways. They also think like I do in many cases.
I swear I could sue CMFT for plagiarism. Anyone who knows who I mean congratulations, if you don’t, well then it actually does not really matter to you who I’m referring to. I swear that individual crept inside my head, stole all my thoughts, & not only used them in their bands lyrics, but then used them in their books, their tweets, their radio show – it continually astounds me how many times I could have, or indeed have written, thought, or said the exact same thing as this individual.
My admiration for such artists far surpasses my enjoyment of their music, it is much more than they are hot as hell & I wouldn’t mind – it’s far deeper than that. So I will take the shit, I am very sorry (2) for being so utterly shallow & for having the sheer audacity to be human.
As for my looks, if anyone is claiming to be a heavy metal fan themselves, but is more interested in how I look than in me as a person, or believes I only say I like heavy metal for attention, then I am extremely sorry! (2) You are right & I’m sorry (2), how dare I not be a 10 & yes you are right, I have endless issues.
Thankfully, one of those issues will never be having a negative twat like you in my life to bring me down to your level, so yes, sorry! (2)
**** Do I enjoy Heavy Metal the best? YES. When a lot of the other music around which is considered popular, is compared to metal, then I guess in some ways I am elitist.
If you look at some forms of music where the songs consist entirely of the same chorus over & over, (ironically often taken from an old rock song), with the same beat throughout & a repetitive tune added. All of which has been programmed into a keyboard or computer to make a ‘ song’, then yes, I most definitely am utterly elitist in the sense that there is no real talent involved in the process. They haven’t even had enough energy or enthusiasm for their ‘art’, to even write their own chorus most of the time.
Pop music is less about the music, & more about:
A) How attractive the artist is
B) How much they can sex up the music video
C) The potential for any song to become an annoying earworm – most of these songs are formulated to be remembered easily & sound appealing to the majority. Most of the artists of said music cannot perform live, or do so very poorly.
D) The artists & music are generally just a cash cow for record companies.
………..Oh & while I am on with this particular rant, here is a side rant; “It’s not about the money, money, money, just wanna make the world dance, forget about the price tag’. It absolutely is not about the music either! That song has to be one of the most hypocritical songs ever! IF it’s not about the money, please explain why it cost so much to buy a download of it, & why was all the profit not donated to charity? It most definitely WAS about the money! Definitely not about the music in any way at all.
***** Do I enjoy any music outside the genre of heavy metal? You bet your bottom dollar I do! The Eagles, Pink Floyd, Blue October, Poets of the Fall, Beethoven, Tracy Chapman, Mumford & Sons, to name but a few of the artists who are not classed as metal who are among some of my favourite artists.
Annoyingly & much to my own disgust I actually quite like that one Justin Beiber song ‘If you love the way you look that much, well maybe you should go love yourself’.
Oh & let’s not forget my love of 5FDP, which automatically excludes me from being a genuine fan of heavy metal!
******I am sorry, clearly I missed out on the receipt of that particular advice leaflet.
(1) This does my fucking head in! Does anyone actually know, or indeed care whether a band is thrash, death, black Etc Etc Etc metal? That’s a rhetorical question, as quite clearly some of you do. I do not so – sorry (2)
(2) Sorry actually means fuck the fuck off throughout this post.
(3) It is absolutely essential you only allow children to be corrupted by someone who is quite happy to be marketed to a young audience, knowing that their parents will pay a small fortune for their offspring to go see their favourite act in ‘concert’. If the performance includes skimpy clothing, suggestive dancing, or an oral sex act performed on a representation of a phallic organ, then this is absolutely fine.
A Heavy Metal Fan