Happy Valentines Day

Just reblogging as it’s that time again

Beaunique

This beautiful day is the most sacred for people in love 



OK let me try that again, and be serious so I don’t get that rising bile issue.

This is yet another ‘celebration’ which is used unapologetically by people whose sole purpose in life is to take as much of your money as possible in a way which renders you unable to realise they’re pick pocketing you, and as usual they’re winning on every level.

Just yesterday I saw that ‘For one night only’ –  Valentines night, Dirty Dancing is to be shown in cinemas here in the UK. Anyone who actually pays to go see it at the cinema:

  1. Has more money than sense
  2. Should use their money in a wiser manner, starting with buying a DVD player
  3. Is certifiable in a Donald Trump type way
  4. Is not in love, merely trying to hard.
  5. Is in a new relationship**

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Taking Seroquel: Expect This

Best description of being on Quetiapine I’ve ever read!

I’m meant to be on 400mg a night (in the past when very ill I was 900mg and still didn’t sleep!). I am fairly well adjusted to my own mental health now, and I am good at knowing when I’m getting a little too high. So I do not take the 400mg a night. I am awake a lot due to pain these days & actually still wake up after a couple of hours on 100mg of quetiapine which is not easy to do! If I have been a lot of days without a good sleep, & find I’m recognising my signs of getting too high I’ll take it to get some sleep which tends to knock the mania on the head before it even gets to a proper hypomania stage.
I am 40 in a couple of weeks & have suffered from bipolar from 8 years old. It’s only on the last couple of years and after dealing with a lot of stuff like childhood abuse that I’ve been able to really get a handle on my own mental health and moods, so I do not write this with the intention of convincing or advising anyone else stops their meds – just because it’s right for  me now,  it may not be for you so please do not be influenced into stopping anything from my comment. This is purely about me.

 

I was shocked the first time I took quetiapine because I am extremely hard to knock out, normal benzos tickle me at best, no medication has ever given me the drowsy feeling it does other people. So many years ago when I first got quetiapine & took my first dose, I laughed at the ‘may cause drowsiness’ to advice.
The next thing I knew it was about 6 hours later & I had fallen asleep where I was sat. I had dried drool stuck to my face, a stiff neck, couldn’t even see properly. I somehow stumbled upstairs to bed and slept like I’d never slept before that point. I used to go to school on a couple of hours most of the time, I could easily get by on 2 hours days night regularly & feel so amazing.
Amazing of course until this led to me being manic & out of control, then inevitably the down somewhere along the way.
I had to get my mum & dad to take my son I could not look after him. My mum  tried to take me to his school sports day because it was his first one (he’s 22 in May so this is a lot of years ago), I am not kidding you – I could not see! Not even my own hand in front of my face. It was an effort to be stood. I didn’t want to talk or anything all I wanted was my bed. I did get a tolerance to them, however I still got the things that this post explains – some of the places I’ve fallen Asleep quite scary when I think about it properly  – & yes I once ended up missing my train station stop. I’ve also got in a taxi & slept the entire journey which unnerved me later.

Now if I take it to help me sleep I can take 100/200mg & sleep better, but only function as much as is needed living by myself with no pets.
I make sure it’s at a time I’ve not got hospital appointments etc because I couldn’t handle anything that big.

Just one huge thing to note if you are on quetiapine (& in my experience not any doctors know this) , be extremely careful if you are prescribed antibiotics. I found out the hard way! You cannot take Clarithromycin or Eurithramycin antibiotics because they stop your liver from making ab enzyme cyp3 something or other, that enzyme breaks quetiapine down in your system. If you are taking both you’re effectively overdosing! I didn’t know what was happening to me, I couldn’t even see properly worse than when I started quetiapine, I had tunnel vision, I felt absolutely awful. I actually thought it was related to the infection I had so I rang the emergency doctor as it was out of hours & luckily he knew for the interaction & told me to stop taking the antibiotics immediately. If you absolutely need those antibiotics then it needs to be done so you’re reducing the amount of quetiapine you take in conjunction with your psychiatrist.

Quetiapine is also known as Seroquel & is an antipsychotic & mood stabiliser. It is it can also be used for those with schizophrenia. It is often used off label for sleep issues too but honestly with all the things it can cause, etc etc, I really wouldn’t advise taking this if you only need it for sleep, unless like myself it is for prevention of hypomania/mania.

Living Manic Depressive

You are going to sleep a lot!

If you are planning to take Seroquel, expect that you are going to sleep an awful lot. So much so, that you should assume that you won’t be able to do anything for 5-7 days after you start taking it. No office work, no social activities, no house work. Not even little everyday tasks.

The only thing I did in the first five days is sleep, stagger groggily around the house, sleep more, feed the dogs, eat, and then take meds and go back to sleep. Really. For five days. 

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Song inspired art – Slipknot

Inspired by Slipknot Surfacing


Fuck it all!

Fuck this world!

Fuck everything that you stand for!

Don’t belong! Don’t exist!

Don’t give a shit!

Don’t ever judge me!

Some of my recent art

Apologies for my lack of posts recently, life & such trivial stuff has been getting in the way.

Just a quick post to share some of my recent photo editing work.

Hope you enjoy them!

Song Inspired Art

 

Bring Me The Horizon 

Throne

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“So you can throw me to the wolves, tomorrow I will come back leader of the whole pack, beat me black & blue, every wound will shape me, every scar will build my throne”

Quickie

No, not that kind 😁.

Hectic life at the moment, so not had much chance to post, I wish I could tell you it was all exciting stuff…… I could tell you that but the chances are I’d be lying more than a lying person at the lying Olympics.   Thought I would just share a quick post with you, I am really hoping to get some more posts done this week, but we will see how many people I have to mentally kill first – I think I am the worlds’ most prolific serial killer at the moment, I guess it saves me from rocking back & forth in the corner,  if I  go on an imaginary killing spree!

IMG_20170501_220202_1493675203606_1493678657869_1493692515255_1493694212264

Anyway, this is one of my latest photo editing projects, I will post more ASAP! Yes, yes that is me, the weird one – I like being weird, because who wants to be normal? It’s boring 😁 Later alligators!

The unofficial rules of life

The Ones Nobody Tells You

If you want something you are not going to be able to find it.

If you do find it, you can guarantee you will find other stuff you previously couldn’t find, & what you wanted to find will be the very last thing you find.

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