I have not been able to stop thinking of terrible Easter, Jesus, Religion & Chocolate based quips. So here goes –
Jesus must love me, he died so I could eat Chocolate for four days!!
Chocolate is good for you, an Easter bunny told me, just after I’d seen Jesus over the other side of the street, up in a helicopter.
Religion is bad for you, all the food you’re obliged to eat for every religious festivity, will be why you develop type 2 diabetes.
Everyone seems happy today, it has definitely been a good, good Friday. Not sure if it’s down to God, or Serotonin levels from Chocolate.
Jesus made Easter holidays in Britain long enough, so Friday is preparation day – salad for breakfast, dinner, & tea. Saturday & Sunday is spent consuming more Chocolate than is made by the Oompa Loompas yearly. Monday is a day to recover/exercise as much as you dare before you’re back at work Tuesday
I hear the price of Easter Eggs was high this year. I wonder if it’s to do with eggflation?
Jesus, the Easter bunny, & I got in a lift. My next lift was in the back of an ambulance, my shell had finally cracked up!**
Easter?!?! Already? It will be Christmas again next – Jesus Christ!!
Do you think God was misquoted about Easter¿? Are we sure he didn’t say Eat stuff?
We wish you a merry…….sorry wrong over commercialised, stupidly expensive holiday song!
God is a hypocrite. He let Jesus die on this extra long weekend. Then made it a Chocolate weekend, enslaving us to do his will by stuffing our faces endlessly, & then he went & made gluttony a sin!
Our Father who art in Hershey’s,
Hallowed be thy Twix,
Thy KitKat come,
Thy will be Double decker,
Oreos Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our Dime bar,
And Flake us our trespasses,
As Wispa forgive those who Thortons against us
And Kitkat us not into temptation,
Bounty deliver us from evil
For thine is the kingdom,
The picnic & the glory,
Ferrero & ever
I am off to church, I need some wine to go with this Chocolate!!